Yoni you’re such a little ‘man’.
You like to sleep on your stomach and bury your head in your blanket – effective, but not very elegant.
Sometimes you sleep on your back , your arms above you like a boxing champ.
And often now, as you sleep, you put your leg over the cot’s rail or through its bars, like you own the place.
You like to eat at your set times, and you don’t like us to be late with your food.
You fart wherever and whenever the feeling takes you.
Sometimes you wear your nappies halfway down your bum and crawl around the lounge – what do you think the neighbours are saying? That our child is a wildechaye? Let them stare. Let them talk.
I’ve even heard rumours that you started up with a girl three months your senior. Heard you touched her leg…
You overturn your toy basket.
You tear up the newspapers, and you eat your books.
You puke and move on, no big deal. Not like your father. When I puke, I can’t move on, I’m a wreck.
You poo, puke, and pee on me. Me!! I’m ten times your size! Are you not afraid? Are you not trembling?
Actually, you love to be frightened. It makes you laugh.
You can’t talk yet, but you’re very clear with what you want and how you go about telling us you want it. More than we’ve figured you out, you’ve figured us out.
But don’t get ahead of yourself little one. You’ll have plenty of time to be a man. Now is the time to be a baby.
When you show us that you want to be held, we know you are still our baby.
When you hold onto us when we hug you, cheek to cheek, and you let out a deep sigh, you are our little boy.
So yes, you’re still a baby, but there is definitely a little ‘man’ inside you. We can see him.
Now that there are two men in the house, you think Your Mother can handle it?